Lockergnome

I've already posted a few articles. But for future reference, you can find my articles for Lockergnome here

Accepted

This morning as I toddled into work and got on with opening my normal array of junk, which happens to include my webmail, and I was greeted with a very welcome email from Chris at Lockergnome. It would seem I've been accepted to write for them. Not a huge leap in my writing career, but it makes me happy. Now I just gotta get a few of these ideas outta my head onto paper.

My plan is to do at least 2 articles a week. Hopefully I'll manage more, but that is my goal for now. I wish I had the time to write multiple articles a day, but alas this stupid job gets in my way. Maybe one day.

So here begins something. Who knows where it'll go.


P.S. I put too much garlic salt in my tomato cup a soup. No worries though. The only person I'll me kissing should be used to ti by now.

Mondays Should Be Shot

Its Monday again. No real surprise there. It happens every week. And like every Monday before, I feel like shit. No, I have not been out drinking. I wish I had then I'd have an excuse for feeling like I'm gonna puke any second now. Mondays are my worst day. I have got to get outta here.

The day is the same as any other though. The bus was on time, the train was late. Ticket man knows my name and gives me my ticket without having to ask what I need. No Katie this morning to make me feel better. Tube strike in London, so she's working from home. I miss Katie when she isn't on the train.

Stop in the Sainsburys to pick up fags and cash and the woman behind the counter doesn't even have to ask what kind I want. She knows and she's friendly. Normal Monday morning chatter. Procede to the walk to work.

People fill the sidewalk where the buses come in and don't think for a second that maybe someone might actually want to walk down it. I have to shove past as usual and I endure the dirty looks of "How dare you walk down the sidewalk". Give way to an old lady in exchange for a kind smile.

Walk in to work and its the same greeting from the security guard as it is every morning as he chats to the useless cleaning lady. To the elevators with me. I'm not in any coordinated state to try to walk up 2 flights of stairs. Besides, I'm tired and lazy.

So there's my desk. For once someone hasn't decided to stack stupid shit on it when I wasn't looking. Off comes the coat and scarf to be hung from the back of my chair. Time to sit down and see if I can face the world of a Monday morning consultant who can't remember her password and try not to puke into the phone literally.

Thus begins my day.

What a Surprise

Okay not really much of a surprise.

So as some will know I've been fighting an ongoing illness. Doctor was stumped on what it was. I was stumped on what it was. Finally found the pattern to when I'm the sickest and thus found the likely cause. Its anxiety and stress. Ie my job.

Look back a post or two and I'm sureyou'll be able to see why. Its not the work I do, but the company I do it for. I'm completely disregarded, taken for granted, and generally treated shitty. Every day I wonder if I'll have a job when I get to work. That's how bad it feels working here.

So Doc has set me up to go to an anxiety management thing. Not sure if its exactly a class or a one on one thing with a shrink. Either way I hope it helps. It would seem that I'm now stuck with this to some extent. Because this is spreading to more than jsut work.

Simple things like meeting someone for the first time makes me sick. Nervousness about a non-work project being done right and on time makes me sick. Anything that has even the slightest bit of worry, anxiety or stress makes me sick.

This isn't good. I don't want to be sick.

So the first step for me I think is to get the hell outta this place. Ideally I'd like to get out of conventional IT. Really I'd love to move into the games industry. Maybe as a GM for an MMO or something along that line. Right now though I'd settle for anything that meant I could make more money and not be working here.

Of course getting through the interview without puking is the first step.